The Torture - The Joy

I simultaniously hate and love the last week of classes. In four days, I'm going to be rejoicing because classes will be over and most of my major projects and papers will be done and handed in, but the time leading up to that it total craziness.

First off, I have a ten page paper to write by Thursday, which I still have yet to start because whenever I think about what I'm going to write my brain starts to hurt. It's for my prophets class, and I have to write about two chapters in the book of Jeremiah. Ugghh...I have no clue what to write. I don't even really understand this crap.

Secondly, I have a test tomorrow in the class that I'm really afraid I'm going to fail. I got a B on the first two tests, but unfortunately I failed the past one, and since they changed the freaking grading scale to the plus/minus scale, now a C- counts as a failing grade, so yeah, I really need to do good on this test! You'd think studying and reading over your notes and whatnot would be helpful in studying, but no, for some god-awful reason, this class is like the class from hell. The tests are totally uncomprehendable. I never understand any of the multiple choice or fill in the blank questions. Now, what doesn't make any sense to me is that I get perfect scores on the essays. So, yeah, obviously I know the information, but the fact of the matter is that I just can't do the multiple choice or fill ins. Double Ugghhh...

Third, I have a project due on Thursday for my Art History class and I still have no clue what I'm even going to do for it. We have to make a modern outdoor sculpture. I don't even know why I stress out about those projects. I always end up getting an A on them (knock on wood). I could probably do it totally wrong, write a two page paper giving some half-assed explanation for my reasoning behind the project, and I'd still get an A (knock on wood once again). But, the fact of the matter is that I still have to do it and it's yet another stress on my life that I don't want to deal with.

Fourthly, I have another ten page paper due by next Thursday. Now, I'm not as worried about this one as the other stuff because I already have five pages written, but still, it is yet another worry to put up on my shelf of anxiety.

And those things are not my only problems at the moment. I called Kohls today to see if they had started hiring yet because I had turned in an application 3 weeks ago. Well, now they're done hiring, so I'm most likely not going to be able to get a job there. Now, I do still have like a month before I really need to get a job, but I would just like to know that I have a shoot at getting one somewhere in Findlay. I have turned in six applications so far in this town and not a single call back. But hey, like I said - I still have a month. So, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. Oh, and I'm doubly keeping my fingers crossed that Matt gets his transfer to one of the Walmarts here. That would just make things so much easier!

So, after all this other crap is said and done, then I'm going to have to worry about packing and moving and whatnot. I can't wait to be in the new apartment. I'm so excited for it. Although, I'm not really that excited about moving out of the townhouse next week, taking my crap to my parents for a week and a half, and then moving everything back to the new apartment in Findlay.

Now it's back to papers and studying for me!

Hmmm....This world = ??

So, I can't believe all the crap that has been going on lately with the shooting at VA Tech and whatnot. It's so scary. I just can't believe that something like that would happen and people can be that screwed up. New information just keep popping up and it's just unbelievable to me.

I just got finished watching the movie "Children of Men". It's kind of frightening to think that our world could get to that point. That movie is set in 2027, which is only 20 years away. Our world could be shit by then, and it's plausable the way things seem to be going right now.

The thing that's kind of annoying to me is when people say that all the problems in the world are because God is punishing us. I just don't know for sure...That's kind of confusing. If you think about it, humanity has always been pretty screwed up. Maybe it just annoys me because the people always say it with such arrogance as if they couldn't possibly be a part of the reason for any problems in this world. Ugghhh....I'm sorry....I feel like ranting at the moment....

So, ok, onto other things. Today at counseling, I had a pretty good talk with Karyn. I really like her. She's really easy to talk with. She gave me this Attacking Anxiety program and I'm hoping once I start listening to the CDs and whatnot. Actually, though, I think a lot of my problem lately has been my birth control pill. I just changed to a different one a month and a half ago and now I'm all emotional - up and down - all the time. It's horrible. I never used to have this many problems. I'm totally depressed one day and completely bitchy the next. So, yeah, I think I'm going to see if I can get put back on the old pills. Dumn ass meds!

Enough ranting now - On a less depressing note, I watched "The Departed" today. It was SUCHHHH a great movie! I loved it!! It's a movie that actually deserved the Best Picture award. It was just a great all around movie. It gives me a glimmer of hope for the movie business and that maybe not all the new stuff is crap.

Two weeks to go!

Only two weeks left of school! I can't believe it. Even after all the craziness of this year and living in the townhouse and being producer at the station, it still seems like it went really fast. At times, the townhouse made it feel like every week was a year, but looking back now, it seems like it only lasted a few weeks.

I have a feeling this week is going to be kind of crazy. I have a 8-10 page research paper due on Thursday along with a 15 minute presentation. I have a big test in Newswriting on Friday, which is really important because it could mean the difference between an A or B in that class. I also have to start working on my Art History project, which is due in a week, and on my final paper for Old Testament Prophets class that's due Tuesday next week. Uggghhhh....I really hate the end of the year.

Today I went to Kohls to change when I can start working if they would hire me. Originally, I had put on there that I couldn't start until May 15th, but I don't think that was a good idea, so I went and changed it to I can start immediately. I can start while I'm still at school and then I'll just have to not work for the two weeks that I'm not here. I don't know - I hope that works. I at least want a chance to talk to them. I really wanna work there!

This weekend was pretty interesting. We had a High School Girls Retreat at church and I was part of the team. We spent Friday and Saturday at the girl scout camp. It was pretty interesting. A lot of just talking about who we are and what we believe. We did this group initiative exercise too, which was really cool because we did this Trust Climb thing. It was pretty exciting. Also, this weekend, my mom and I went and got the rest of my stuff for the bedroom at the new apartment. It's so exciting to be buying that stuff. I don't know why I like it so much. I'm mostly just spending money I don't really have. Oh well!

So anyway, I think that's about all I have to talk about for now. I should really get back to working on all of my homework and papers and whatnot. Blahh....

My Birthday!

My birthday was pretty great today. I had classes, so that kind of sucked. I hate the fact that my birthday had to fall on a Tuesday, which is a day that I have three classes, as oppossed to a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday where I only have one class. But oh well. I guess it wasn't horrible. The townhouse ladies and I went out to the Red Pig Inn to have dinner and it was a pretty good time had by all. They got me a gift card to Walmart for 75 bucks, so that should be useful in buying more stuff for the new apartment, especially the really great comforter that I want for our bedroom.

My family came here later. They got me a clock and a light for the new apartment, along with some batteries, which are always good to have around the house. And they also got me a 40 dollar gift card to Walmart, so I'm definitely going to be getting my moneys worth out of Walmart in the next month or so. Then we went out to Frickers and they bought me my first alcoholic drink. I have to say that I didn't really enjoy it. I mean, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't really something I thought was wonderful either. I could taste the alcohol, which really bothered me. So, yeah, I guess I'm just not going to be indulging in that constantly.

But anyway, now I'm bored, sitting around here at the townhouse doing nothing. Because I only have my one class on Wednesdays, I hardly ever have stuff to do on Tuesday nights. I think I'm going to turn on the TV, though, and maybe play a little Castlevania.

Turning 21

Tomorrow is my birthday. Well, actually, in about two hours I will officially be 21. Strangely, though, I've been kind of depressed the past few days. I hope that goes away, though. I think it may be my new pills. I've been all hormonal and I've been having headaches a lot. But anyway, tomorrow I'm going out with the townhouse ladies, at least that's the plan. Then, the family is coming down and we're going to go out again, but this time so that they can buy me my first alcoholic drink. I also have to go down to the DMV to get my new license, which I'm really excited about because in my old one I'm fat. Haha.... So, anyway, that should all be fun. Hopefully I'm not getting sick. My nose has been bothering me today. I only wish that I didn't have to go to class tomorrow since it's my bday. Oh, Matt already gave me my present. He got me "Happy Feet"! I can't wait to watch it! It looks really cute!

Moving on to other things...today was my last day of Easter break. I hate coming back to school after a break. I never do any of my school work while I'm on a break because I think a break is supposed to be relaxing. But, unfortunately, coming back sucks because I always have tons of stuff to catch up on. Which reminds me - I need to be working on that stuff right now instead of writing this.

Oh, just one more thing really quick - This past weekend, I bought a Castlevania game! I'm so excited about it! I've been playing it nonstop! I really wish I had money to get some more. I'm really getting into the whole story and the games are really fun and interesting! Ok, sorry, just had to mention that last thing!

First Post

In five days I will be turning 21. So many things are changing in my life right now, and I think I need a place to store all of my thoughts, so I figured this may be a good place.

I'm about to finish my third year in college, which is scary to think about. I only have one more year before I'm really part of the real world. Matt, my fiance, and I have had a long distance relationship now for three years, but we decided that we're going to be getting a place together this summer in Findlay. We have our apartment on hold and it's small but quaint and sweet. I've already bought a bunch of stuff for it. I think it's going to be exciting having my own place and decorating it with Matt. This past year, I lived in a townhouse at school with five other girls....Ugghhh....Let's just say it wasn't the best environment....

So, Matt and I move into our new place on May 15th. I'm hoping all goes well. I think it's going to be fun to live with him. Hopefully I won't be as stressed out about stuff as I am living at the townhouse.

Yesterday, I went to ABC 13 in Toledo for an interview for their internship program. It was exciting. Being in a real news room is such a thrill. I LOVE the atmosphere...I know, totally GEEKY!! Anyway, the interview went incredibly well and I came out of it with a position as an intern for this summer. I'm going to be doing producing stuff, which is so incredibly wonderful. I love producing! So, I think I'm starting sometime in May, hopefully after Matt and I have already moved into the new place. I can't wait! It's going to be fun!

I'm also looking for another job for the summer. Since the internship is unpaid, I sort of still need a job to pay the rent and bills. I put in an application at Kohls in Findlay, so I hope that I hear from them soon. I think it would be cool to work at Kohls. I shop there all the time, so hey, a discount would be nice. Haha!

So anyway, I think that's enough for my first post. I usually blog on myspace, but I've been getting really tired of myspace lately, so I think this will be a good avenue for my thoughts. I hope I keep up with this!