Being Stressed During the Summer is Just Wrong....Very, Very Wrong!

So, it's been kind of hectic lately. I've been working just about nonstop at Walmart for the past two or three weeks. My first day off is tomorrow. As a result of this constant work, I threw my neck and upper back out and I've had to go to a chiropractor three times in less than a week, and then I stressed myself out so much I ended up sick on Sunday night and threw up. I'm not usually the type to make myself THAT stressed. It was weird. I just had one of those break downs where everything felt like it was going wrong.

This is just a few of the things that I've been stressed about -
1) I'm running out of money from my loans and even though Walmart rules my life, I barely get enough from my pay checks to pay for my bills and rent.
2) Matt has been having a hard time dealing with the death of his mom. I think it has finally hit him. He had to go on leave from work because it was affecting his performance. So, needless-to-say, I worry about him.
3) Our apartment is kind of a mess because I never have time to clean anymore. Not that it looks like crap or unlivable, it's just that I really wish I at least had time to do the dishes every once in a while.
4) I had to start going to a chiropractor, which I thought was going to be incredibly expensive. This one actually has some good news involved, though, because I found out that our insurance will pay for my visits. So, ok, we can knock that one off the list, but I was worried about it on Sunday.
5) My friends are too busy to see me and I'm too busy to see them. Matt is my best friend and I love living with him, but sometimes I just really wish that I could hang out with my friends, or at least talk to them. Sometimes I just feel incredibly isolated in Findlay.
6) And finally, I miss my family. I think it has gotten to that point of feeling a bit of homesickness. I love the apartment, I love Findlay, and I love living with Matt...I only wish I had more time to go home and see my family and my cat. It makes me crazy the amount of time I have to spend working.

Ok, so that's most of the basics of my stress. Most of them are ok now. I mean, Matt is on leave from work, so he's feeling a bit better now. My mom is coming tomorrow to help me and Matt clean our apartment, so that will hopefully be taken care of tomorrow. And hopefully I'll be able to go home sometime next week, if I can get a freaking day off.

So, anyway, that is what has been going on with me for about the past week....work, work, stress, and more work. Hopefully things are looking up, though. I hate to say it, but I'm actually looking forward to school starting. Then maybe I'll have a little bit of time to relax. (wow, I never thought my summer would be busier than my school year).

Now I will end this blog with some words that I thought of today while I was on my lunch break...A kind of poem I guess you could say...


Obscure Image

The image slacks
Obscurred
The edges smudging

What do you think it used to be?
Do you ever wonder?

It has some shape
It carries some form
But...
What was it?

The blur of the moment
The intensity of the corners
The colors of the depressed mind

Light pinks, light grays
Smudging
Wetness
It slacks the image

I don't know what it used to be
A continuous wonder
Obscurring the thoughts

Screw Up

Stupid blogger! Why isn't it showing my new post?? I'm confused....

Sorry, I just had to vent for a sec!

So This Is July

I can't believe that it has been two weeks since Sandy died. It still feels weird to think about the fact that she'll never be around again. It didn't occur to me until this past weekend that I'd never get to eat her wonderful food again. She always made the best meals and I always ate them even when I wasn't hungry. She was such a great cook and I'm really going to miss that.

Travis and Matt went through all of her stuff this past week and got it all organized. Matt brought home a ton of boxes with stuff he wanted to keep. A lot of it is just for memories sake. A lot of it is pictures and stuff from grade school, too. It was pretty cool to go through that stuff and see Matt when he was a little kid. He had a different life before I met him, and I love learning all about it.

Onto other things, though...
I missed the Defiance fireworks last night. I'm so depressed. I think this is the first time ever that I missed them. I wanted to go back for them, but I worked until 10 pm last night. It sucked. I'm glad that I'll probably still get to go to the Findlay fireworks, though. The family is coming up on Wednesday and then we're going to go. I work until 8 that evening, but at least that still gives me time to go see them.

I can't believe that it is already July. This summer seems to be going quicker than even last summer, which I thought went incredibly fast. The only thing that I'm happy about is that I won't have to adjust to anything this fall. I'm so used to having to leave home and go back to school and be depressed for the first two weeks or so, but now I'm already home, and that is exciting. The only thing that I'm going to be worried about is Mom getting used to having no kids in her house come September. I just hope that she doesn't get depressed or shut off. I think she'll be fine, but it's going to take a while and I worry about her.

I'm excited about tomorrow. Matt and I are hopefull going to go swimming at the public pool. I haven't been swimming since two summers ago, so I'm incredibly anxious to go. I hope that we'll go see a movie, too. It's nice that we're going to both have the day off tomorrow, because that doesn't happen very often.

So anyway, I think that's enough for now. I'm in Toledo at work, so I should probably get back to doing real work.